December 3, 2021
Rhamdom words, limited what-nots, and un-groked concepts
Santa is coming to town. Been made privy to this info, by my guess, for at least 40 years now, assuming that memory recollection started around age 2. Now, one would think knowing this kind of intel would give one a leg up, a jump start, to the impeding holiday rituals that are sure to be practiced (insert your holiday what-nots here, to save time.) This is that time every year that we convince our little ones that there is indeed a man, wearing a red suit, that will come down the chimney on Christmas Eve and leave toys for kids who were good that year. Ah, what a wonderful little nugget for a parent, young or old, to have a solid grasp on a bribe so big, they created a holiday around it, in hopes those little sh*ts out there might see the light, change their ways, and patiently wait for their PLAYSTATION 9 or iPhone 16…(or whatever version we’re on… I forget.) Does this work? Maybe. If my memory doesn’t fade here I could possibly recall the time every year I decided to turn things around, turn over a new leaf, be the boy my mom and dad wanted me to be, sit up straight, eat my veggies, clean my plate, don’t talk back, clean my room (insert more what-nots here…see, this week I’m helping you with your own what-nots…hope it helps) …..and show this world, and that wonderful, jolly old elf dressed in red, smokin’ that pipe (bro, it’s almost 2022..shouldn’t you be vaping or something?) ….that THIS BOY has indeed been good all year! … I’d say I got a jump-start on my clean act around the end of September or early October. Too early of a jump and the parents get suspicious; too late and you run the risk of Kris Kringle seeing right through your little one-man show and pass you by for that year (don’t think he won’t do that… he’s a business man) so clearly, timing was everything, and the acts of kindness, well, let’s just say they better be on point no matter what time of year you decide to take your social shower to cleanse the NAUGHTY by lathering up real good with the NICE….folks, this time of year is important, for a multitude of reasons (namely the one that it’s ACTUALLY centered around, don’t forget that one. Turns out Santa and Jesus play bocce ball in the spring in Amsterdam. Might be a rumor, might not be, I’m not taking any chances and will proudly sit my kiester in a pew on the Christmas Even service just like a NICE boy should…. Okay, I’ll be there all month. Hey! Last week we started ADVENT..and let me tell you.. IT’S AN ADVENT-URE! (see what I did there?)
By about age 6 I realized that being good all year is actually the best route, and turns out I like green beans AND Spanish rice..whooda thunk it? So today, sitting fresh at 42, I begin to ponder. Would I put myself on the naughty list or nice list this year? Well NICE list of course, but not without some restrictions, which turns out, do apply and if you want details, well, that’s another Captain’s Log for another day, because folks it’s a very busy weekend and I can’t sit here (standing today actually) and just type all willy-nilly without a care in the world; no clock, no calendar…NO! I’ve got to get started now! Saturday night is the Fort Smith Symphony with an after-party at The Bakery District… I’ll already be there doing “that thing Rham does” and directing FUN at the Harry Robinson company Christmas party. It’s going to be Christmas’ey with lots of great food, cornhole, trivia, ping-pong, and a 20-yard dash (this one still under review) ….no matter what, there’ll be fun had. More things to do coat this city like that hot honey they pour over the top of those hot honey waffle biscuit breakfast sandwiches at Hardees (HAVE YOU HAD ONE?? Oh my..) Get out there this weekend and do something nice for someone. Got a spare jacket? Give it to someone who needs it. Make someone smile. Remember, tis the season to give…SO GO GIVE IT! If you love Fort Smith, ALL of Fort Smith Smith…Love it Out Loud and proud. Those needing suggestions, advice, guidance, or just a little nudge in that direction of LOVING something out loud….well, I know a guy. As for more what-nots….well, I think it’s bess time we all start to understand the true gravity of situations most of the time out of our control, ish, that folks, some folks, just don’t grok. Yep. It’s a word. Look it up. Or click the word and it will take you to the definition page, because, um 2021…
Director of Fun,
Community Team Captain
He’s alright…weird…but alright.